Bogotá Airport Sucks

I just arrived in my hotel in Paris. Although I say I'm in Paris, I'm not really, at least not quite. I'm out in the suburbs east of the city. Although less than optimal, there is at least an RER station right behind my hotel that will get me into the heart of the city in less than 20 minutes.

Why does travelling half way around the world have to be so difficult? I started my trip by missing my flight from Cartagena to Bogotá. I can't help but feel at least partly responsible for this. I left leaving the hotel until the last minute (enjoying the weather too much), and then ran into almost everyone I knew there one after the other on the way to the front desk. I swear it was planned to be like a curtain call. I also left some shirts in my room and had to go back to get them.

Fortunately, there are a lot of flights to Bogotá and there was another one in an hour. That would leave my three hours in to check in with Air France and do whatever I need to do. That should be lots, right?

Flying international in South America is different than anywhere else in the world. First you have to stand in a line to get a piece of paper. This has something to do with the departure tax of $56 which you have to pay even though you got the piece of paper. Then you stand in the check-in line which is really long and really slow. In the middle of this line you pay your departure tax (I didn't know this the first time I came, and had to leave the big line and go find a bank machine). Then they weigh your bag, tell you it is 1kg overweight, don't let it slide, and you try to stuff approximately 1kg of dirty laundry into your laptop bag. Finally you get to the front of the line, and are told that they can not validate your ticket and that you need to go to the airline office.

Once at the airline office the woman points to the computer screen which indicates that your reservation has been cancelled since no ticket was issued. An argument ensues because a ticket has been issued and in fact the woman is holding it in her hand. After this things are alright again and you jump back to the front of the checkout line. A woman indicates that you should go behind the checkout desk (where the people are working) to talk to the woman that was initially trying to check you in. You confirm that this is really what you're supposed to be doing, and then proceed behind the desk with full expectations of being shot dead by airport security. You are quite promptly told to go back to the other side of the desk where customers typically belong. Finally you are checked in (to coach in a middle seat I might add) and you have a boarding pass.

Next: up the stairs and through emigration. No, that is not a typo. You have to clear emigration when you leave the country much like you have to clear immigration on the way in. Then it's through the usual security check. After that you go through the next line with the military looking people who speak to you using the familiar forms of all their verbs and they pat you down. Then it's to the gate where you have to show your boarding pass again to get into the boarding room. After that, you sit down, wait for 5 more minutes to board, and wonder where the hell your three hour layover went.