For some time, I've had a list of things that I would like to do or achieve before I die. Some, I've already accomplished: go to India, learn a foreign language, eat a rodent. Some, like climbing Mount Kilimanjaro, I believe I will one day achieve. Others, I don't think I will ever manage. One of the goals I will likely never accomplish is to finish a tube of lip balm. For the last three years, I have been trying my best to meet this lofty goal, but so far, triumph has eluded me. I had spent almost a year on one tube, meticulously keeping track of its location at all times to ensure I didn't lose it. That one went through the laundry. Until recently, I had been working on another tube for well over a year, and based on the uneven weight distribution, I think I was pretty close. I made the mistake of putting it in my pocket in Mexico with two dead batteries which I later threw in the garbage. Later I discovered one of the batteries was actually my lip balm. Once again my dreams were shattered.
Since I was facing a really long, dry flight to Rome, I was forced to buy another one. I made the mistake of buying cherry Labello. Men, be warned: this stuff makes your lips red. It also comes in a lipstick-style tube. Why does this product exist, and why does it have no warnings? I'll tell you one thing though, I would be totally hot in drag.
On a more serious note, one of my favourite authors, Kurt Vonnegut passed away this week. I would like to wish him a fond farewell. The Tralfamadorians know that we will see you later in some previous time, but until then, thanks for the wonderful stories and the inspiration.
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